Records that make you go hmmm...

Kyle and I collect records. A lot of records, and Kyle is a sucker for the weird. Joe at Chilliwax Records sees him coming from a mile away, and presents him with brand new bizarre stuff that I know he has ordered with Kyle in mind. And Kyle buys it EVERY TIME. To be fair, Joe also shoos him away from the the weird section, but it rarely works. I present you with 25 examples of poor judgement, twisted sense of humour and morbid curiosity. There are many more, but I think these will do. I just needed 25 to create a square screen shot with 5x5 images. But still, I did have to hold back. These are just the easy to find ones.

Now, because they are quite small and hard to see, even went zoomed, I am going to comment on each of these, so you may want to skim past or quit reading altogether.

The Singing Swinging Banjo - It is the extremely elaborate satin ... jester?... outfit and the feather haloed lighthouse behind him that really strike me as things in no way associated with singing, swinging or banjos

Pop Goes the Electric Sitar - Well Vincent Bell is pretty pumped about it - look at his grin!

Music for Pooped People - This is a new acquisition, we bought it one the Island last weekend. We had a hectic weekend and when we got home after a 20 hour delay, I said as we drove in the driveway "I'm pooped" (which I would never say), and then we laughed and said "good thing we got that record!" Upon listening immediately when we walked in, I found it quite peppy though, so I guess it's designed to un-poop people.

Study and Concentration with Reveen - I can't notate the song, but every time I look at it (hanging on the wall), I hear "The man they call Reveen..." commercial from the '80s

Mal Richtig Tanzen (Let's Dance) Nr.1- I thought she was dressed as an elf, but upon closer inspection it's just gold pumps and green sweater, along with her mallets and clarinet.

The Rough Guide to Avant-Garde Japan - he bought this brand new. No further comment

Behind the Dykes: Beats, Blues and Psychedelic Nuggets From the Lowlands 1964-1972 - also purchased brand new. Nothing more to say.

Cafe - (I think that's a C, it looks like a dyslexic, confused bass clef). She is pretty chuffed about hiding her nips but displaying her tan lines. She has some sort of chainmail on her arm. Anyway, we know why he bought this.

Nico Haak Prasentiert: Schmidtchen Schleicher - umm Cook, Cowboy, Dandy (what do you call the middle guy in a 70s suit thinking he's super cool?), Fisherman, and Scotsman?

Gay Nineties in Stereo - Yes folks, 1890s. IN STEREO! Thank god!

Santa Esmeralda starring Leroy Gomez: Don't let me be Misunderstood - Look at him! He thinks he's Casanova while these scantily clad women grope him. Except the woman with her hand on his shoulder - she looking like "oh god, I hope my mother doesn't buy this record!

Elmer G. Peterman - World Best-Known Insurance Salesman: Personal Power through Creative Selling - Let's not forget "best known" and "best"can be vastly different! However, it's the atomic bomb I don't quite understand the relevance of.

Olaf Sven at the Hofbrauhaus - looking pretty smug about that accordion Olaf!

Six Fat Dutchmen (under the direction of Harold Loeffelmacher: A Waltz & Polka Party - hey it has songs with the words "Drummel" and "Bummel" and they aren't used for rhyming with each other. But as a fat Dutchwoman, count me in!

Simply Weird: Go-Go Bikini Topless Greatest Hits. "Way Out Wild Cinematic Sounds That Will Blow Your Mind" - purchased new. I know damn well Joe ordered this gambling Kyle would by it. A sure bet.

Yma Sumak ... voice of the XtaBaY - okay, I confess, I bought this for the cover. I was worth $2 to me. And BONUS! "This record contains two complete albums" - Yma Sumac Moises Vivianco Inca Toqui

Just in Case You Think You're Normal - Guys, don't forget it is "by the most sought after speaker on the most fascinating subject in the world, Dr. Murray Banks'! What subject? Thinking you're normal? Murray Banks himself?

Saturday Night Band: Come On Dance, Dance - She's got the side-eye to the camera -"do I look like I'm happy enough?" and he's looking off thinking of something shitty, but the photographer is thinking "with the chest hair and the suspenders, who's gonna look at his face anyway?"

T.C.Matic: YeYe - this pretty cross dresser is completely confident, as he should be - he is fit, and his tutu looks lovely. I am more concerned about his hands looking a bit creepy as he tries to reach out of the album. And let's face it - was this album bought for the music? - this is a conversation piece for our wall display.

The Erotic Drum Band: Action 78 - The woman's outfit is obviously necessary for erotic drums, but the prominence of the electrical cord and socket? Is it supposed to be suggestive? Innuendo? I don't get it.

Psycho Cowboys: Come on Baby - I don't like that kind of collage, its hideous. I have nothing more to say.

Rolf Harris: Jake the Peg in Vancouver Town - He has 3 fucking legs everyone!!

Lorraine Johnson: Learning to Dance All Over Again - honestly, this one is pretty tame comparatively, but I don't think Kyle is as into disco as one would think by the number of odd-covered disco records we own.

Everybody's Welcome at Mrs. Mills Party - Thank you Mrs. Mills! You look so friendly and sincere, can you please tell me the address?

The Family Discusses Sex: by Dr. Lionel P. Solursh M.D.,D.Psych.,F.R.C.P. (Side one for parents and their children age 7-10, Side two 11-13 - I saw this in the "weird" bin and I knew Kyle would buy it and I knew Matthew would be subjected to it. At least he didn't buy both sex talk records in there. Win! Anyway, the most interesting to me was Dr. Solursh's emphasis that breasts may not be symmetrical. He said it several times, and while I find it reassuring, I really don't know if it is of prominent importance when I'm learning how to have sex. Why this, but no outright talk of penetration. That seems pretty paramount.

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As if that wasn't artistic enough, in my art discussion, I'm going to spend most of it talking about mental health anyway. But I have been doing some painting and of course I want to talk about it. Acrylic pouring is a trendy art form, and it is pretty accessible for anyone, with very economical ways to get started, and then becoming increasingly more addictive and expensive as one tries out the latest trends. The current trend in vogue is a technique that is by an Australian artist. I have been trying alternative recipes for months, but I haven't really replicated her results. As a result, I had to buy the magic Australian ingredient - $80/litre, thank you very much. Still wasn't working. I had to take her course - another $80 thank you very much. Improvised the rest with ingredients from home. Nope, not the right result. I reached out, and everyone on the site told me NO SUBSTITUTIONS. Well, this is fucking stupid because people all over the world are using different products available in their country. I interpreted some people in the class community's advice - people are actually super helpful. I had to buy some special house paint, another $50. There are still more things, but I have to use what I have first. My current recipe is fair, and I am pretty happy with my results so far. More practice required of course.

First try. The others in this batch I painted over, but I kinda like this one, so I'll keep it for a bit. The technique didn't work very well, but goes well in my renovated bathroom. Its 8x8"ish

Second try with improved recipe. These are 4" diameter

I scraped most of these, except the middle one, because I was testing out my recipe for the white, these are all wet images. Below is the dry version of the one I kept. The glossiness is spectacular - that is without a topcoat!

Third attempt. This is definitely beginning to get the results I am looking for. Looking forward to more practice. About 8"diameter

This is the mental health portion. It's about gratitude. I was reminded of something that isn’t talked about as much as coping with mental health issues. Coping for people coping with mental health issues. The people that support me - especially Kyle, are fucking selfless superheroes. They often can’t address their own struggles because they feel that this would affect their struggling loved one, they feel they can’t allow themselves a bit of time and self care.

A long time ago, after I was out of the hospital for a few months and the euphoria subsided that I was cancer free, my mental health cycle took a downturn. Honestly I probably have always been bipolar, or at least depressed. Before my cancer diagnosis I was taking an antidepressant, but we had to determine “if the sickness was making me depressed or the depression was making me sick.” I stopped taking it. (Good thing, because I saw some class action law suit ad about it because of too many incidents of severe liver damage requiring transplants or causing death!) I felt at that time that I would have been able to work through depression on my own, and I knew that something other than that was happening. My intuition was partly right. I can’t always control it, but know myself well enough to know what is mental and what is physical illness.

This journey with cancer obviously affected me, but it also affected Kyle, and I never thought about it. He was only 26 and his wife had spent 2 months in the hospital while he had to do everything, plus the illness preceding and the recovery to follow.

One day we were out for a walk, and I was bitching about something - I have no idea what - likely about my declining mood or something. Finally Kyle stopped and looked at me and snapped “It’s not all about you!” It was like a slap in the face - the good kind, the “wake up stupid!” kind. This young man had been coping alone for months while caring for me and everything else. Bottling it up, having to hold it all in while everyone doted over his “poor, sick” wife, and praised her accomplishment in beating cancer. (I did nothing but lay there and survive while teams of amazing people did everything to care for me and help me - how is this even an accomplishment?) Anyway, I’ve never forgotten it, and even though I still get selfish all the time in my mental health struggles, I catch myself occasionally and realize that he needs care too. In his case, he says nothing, and then I find out that his suppressed anxiety and stress is manifesting itself physically in the form of eczema or other things. I feel like such an asshole that I am blind to this.

On that walk we decided “fuck it”, we are going to get out of this rut and do something dramatic. We decided we would sell all our stuff and go overseas with Kyle playing in a cover band, and me being along for the ride - maybe teaching English - I had been doing that before my cancer diagnosis. Kyle put a band together, and I went back to L&M after 9 months of illness and healing to make some money in the interim. The band was developing and rehearsing way up north in Terrace BC. Things were going well until a day no one will ever forget. September 11, 2001. Working overseas stopped abruptly, Kyle came back and went back to L&M, and our big change never happened. But our life together has always been an adventure, and we just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary and I am grateful for his companionship every day.

SO… This is a very verbose THANK YOU to all the people who give their hearts and time and love to those of us with mental illness, or illness in general. We may be enveloped in our selfish cocoon hiding from the scary world, but we love you so much, and we are so grateful.